The other night I went to bed about 10pm but felt restless. So I got up and curled up on a chair with a blanket and my cat and watched the moon appear to rise up over the horizon and shine it’s beautiful glow over the Whaingaroa Harbour where I live.
I’ve always loved watching the way the moon appears, for me it has a sense of mystery and power. Always there, but not always clearly able to be seen. However, regardless of our ability to be able to see it, like clockwork, it pulls the tides, day in and day out. 100% reliable. It’s know how is intrinsic in the design.
We also have intrinsic know how, it’s part of the deal. It’s how this incredible universe functions, each part of the whole with a role to play in this macro system.
It often feels like a huge dance with inbuilt choreography that’s leading us between the familiar and the unfamiliar, do we follow the lead? Do we shy hesitantly when we are unfamiliar with the steps? Or do we stay curious and allow ourselves to be led by this inbuilt know how? Toes can be stood on, frustration can be felt but so can freedom and laughter and joy.
Another metaphor I often ponder is that we are all part of a universal orchestra with inbuilt music score. We’re all instuments being invited to play our whole song, and as we turn up and listen to our inbuilt know howwe sync with our envrionment, our communities, our world. Some instruments are tuned more finely, some play loud and strong whilst others play a smaller quieter part, but all are important in the overall texture, tone and effect of the music produced. There is often dissonance in music but that discord can be part of an important transition in music to reach another level of complexity and depth.
Isn’t it amazing how the planets know how to revolve around the sun?
How the seasons come and go and how nature knows how to respond. How the seed pods of last years sweet peas left some of their seeds, that those seeds survived the heavy rains, the digging around them, stomping on them…only to know how and when to germinate, take root and provide the most beautiful scented pathway to the beach.
We are all born with the equivalent of an inbuilt operating system…some examples include:
- We have a cut and our bodies know how to go about healing it.
- A baby is born and knows how to suckle in order to feed.
- We catch a cold and our body knows how to fight it off.
- A crisis happens that we have never thought about and we know how to respond.
- We have an idea and when we listen internally we know how to proceed.
- And maybe the most miraculous is – given the right conditions – after the act of sexual intercourse the body knows how to create new life.
Often know how is referred to as common sense. For example ‘I just Knew what to do/say’, ‘it just made sense to act that way’. It’s often a quiet inner sense of knowing how to respond, without the drama that can surround a lot of thinking/figuring out etc.
We see this in children, they know how to get their needs met, inbuilt survival know how. This know how is then topped up.
In the first 7 years of life we ‘absorb’ from those around us, 95% of the beliefs that we then go on to live by in our lives. We’re also consciously learning all the time; in the early years our parents are our teachers, then school, peers, work, social, cultural etc. As adults we identify those who have expertise in areas we don’t – so when we see the need to, we set out to learn from their knowledge in order to increase our knowledge.
Often we tend to ‘value’ our most recent learning, especially that which we have invested lots of money in. This is not a problem except where we forget or over-ride our inbuilt know how.
A common question I get asked in my work is ‘How do I……respond to/deal with different situations?’ I can see there is an internal knowing but there can be a lack of appreciation that this knowing exists, or maybe a sense that it is inadequate and requires more/different skill and expertise. This can breed a sense of anxiety and panic…’I’m out of my depth!’ or ‘It’s not ok that I don’t know what to do.’
I’ve seen for myself that there is a big difference between ‘I don’t know how’ or ‘I can’t know how’, that feeling of being less than and inadequate; and ‘I don’t know how, but I’m curious….’
The latter doesn’t have the noise deafening special effects and it invites a deepening into who we are. Vulnerablity, and a recognition that it can be the most truthful thing to say I don’t know. Often we ‘think’ we should know how….(cue….the special effects!!!) However, recognising and being honest when we don’t know, staying with the discomfort, sometimes qualifying it with ‘I don’t know…yet’, actually invites knowing. It occurs to us the next step to take, when it makes sense, we stay curious.
We are being led to dance our whole song.